Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
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