I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
My feet surprised me
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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