well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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