I can't breathe out the right side of my face
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
