Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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