he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
