I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
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we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
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I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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