I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
