It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
