Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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