After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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