dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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