With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
