Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
