I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Randomize
