wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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