Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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