Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
