no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
