she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
