I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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