We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
