yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Randomize
