I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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