I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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