is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.