3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-