just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
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It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra