a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
