whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
