So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
A+ Viking dick
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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