You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
