your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
