I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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