Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
