If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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