Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
there is puke in my bra ... again
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