Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
