Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
