did you get engaged???
I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
