I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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