just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
She bit a glass in half.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
