She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
