hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Randomize