If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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