ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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