I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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