what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
