No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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