I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
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