I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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