We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
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