Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
