Your dad touched me again.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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