My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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