i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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